Same story, new twist

I made it! A full year of this blog- that flew by. I may have missed a couple months here or there but I made it and am proud of what this project became. I hope those of you that read this have found this blog to be a positive boost and friendly reminder to look for and appreciate the good we all experience every day.

Originally I wanted this to be an interview based project. While that worked in some cases, what I realized was despite how much the project resonated with people, interviews take up time that a lot of people just didn't have. I'm going to continue this project sans interviews. If I see good, I'll write about it and do my best to actually acknowledge the individual being recognized in the moment itself.

One thing I think we can all recognize is sometimes the best actions go unrecognized. We accept this as okay because it's the norm. But for those who make giving a part of themselves it can be draining and, at times, discouraging, to continue a thankless spiral.

So my challenge to you all with this post and this new year is to not only find the good but to be grateful for the good. Share and show your thanks!

I'll start! I'm thankful for my wonderful husband. He's deserved his own post for a while now but I've held off because I'm not big on the whole "mushy love of my life" internet sharing. But my husband is one of the most kind and caring individuals I've ever known and I'm thankful every single day that he chose me and continues to choose me.

He has made me a better communicator. He scrapes the snow/ice off my windshield in the morning. He makes me dinner every night. He lets me sing and dance like a crazy person and even joins me. He supports all of my ideas and projects and encourages me to take risks. He makes me laugh more than I knew was possible. He reminds me every day to treat people with compassion and respect.

Did I mention this kind soul is also my proofreader?

Be conscious. Be aware. Be thankful. 

October: Hugs!

I don’t consider myself to be a touchy-feely type person. That being said, I do appreciate a good hug. If you’re yet to find any good huggers in your life, search on. And when you find them, keep them in your life for as long as possible. A good hug can turn things around, lift your spirits and make everything better.

Research indicates that hugs are actually good for your health. They can increase happiness (thank you, oxytocin), reduce stress and make us healthier overall. When I think of good hugs, three people come to mind. One I’ve known nearly my whole life and see at least every week. One I see only once or twice a year and the other I haven’t seen or talked to in several years. This post is a shout out to them and all the great huggers out there. I hope when you read this you find the good hugger in yourself and share one with someone!

Michael- 

I’m sure I’m not the only one who would say that these hugs are some of the best. A hug from Michael is like sharing a giant smile. A Michael hug is like a secret handshake. It makes you feel as though you’re secretly his favorite person even though you know he has a deep caring for everyone he comes into contact with.

Eddie- 

Photo credit: Etherdox Photography

I may be a bit biased here as he is family but I think most would agree with me on this one. A hug from this guy says so much. He gives them out so freely and one might think it lessens the sincerity of the hug. That’s just not the case. A hug from my baby brother is like magic and always makes me feel better. He can always tell when I’m feeling down and his hugs are a heartfelt message saying he gets it, he’s there for me and I’m not alone. He has gotten me through some of my saddest days with those hugs.

Mychal- 

Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that we’re both the same size and hugs just fit but, they’re one of my favorite! A good Mychal hug can turn your whole day around. He hugs like he means it and, knowing Mychal, he wouldn’t do it if he didn’t mean it. A hug from him says “I’m so happy to see you! I appreciate you!” and that’s a really nice feeling. It’s nice to be recognized and valued just for being present and being yourself, and that’s what a hug from Mychal does.

August: Christine

This month's post comes courtesy of a nomination left on my original post. Christine Barber is the Executive Director of Street Safe New Mexico. After reading Christine's nomination I had to reach out to her. I'm glad I did. She is doing some amazing work. Our community is lucky to have dedicated people like Christine and the rest of the Street Safe New Mexico team.

Street Safe New Mexico Founders
Christine Barber (left) and Cynthia Jaramillo (right)

 Why is street safety important to you?

Because women are being daily raped, beaten and killed in our city and no one seems to notice. I certainly didn’t before I started this work. The average age of death for a street woman is 34. And the cause of death is almost always homicide, suicide or overdose. Most street women — which includes homeless, addicted, sex trafficking victims — are physically attacked four times a month, often by strangers. And one of those attacks usually includes rape. How does this not outrage us? I want to believe that it’s lack of awareness, so that’s what we try to do: Advocate for the women and spread awareness.

 How did you come up with the idea to start Street Safe NM?

In 2009, just after the bodies of the women were discovered on West Mesa, I was volunteering with Albuquerque Healthcare for the Homeless when I met another volunteer — Cynthia Jaramillo. In 1999, Cindy was working on Central Avenue, “doing dates” when she was kidnapped by a John. For three days he tortured her until she was able to escape by stabbing an ice pick into the head of his accomplice and running naked across the desert for help. The police arrested David Parker Ray, aka the Toy Box Killer, whom the FBI classified as an extreme sexual sadist and who is suspected of killing 60 people. She and I got to talking and she said the one thing she really wanted to come out of her experience was for a nonprofit to be formed that would be looking out for the street women. So, that’s what she and I did

What has been the most challenging part?

Taking weekly rape reports from the girls and putting them on our Bad Guy List, which we hand out to the street women. It’s knowing that the men who raped, kidnap and try to kill these women won’t face justice because the women don’t trust the police enough to report the attacks. And it’s knowing that the girls won’t get any help, medical or otherwise, after they are raped.

Since starting this organization have you noticed any changes in yourself or those around you?

I would say that the Street Safe volunteers are the most amazing group of people I have ever met. They are all compassionate and down to earth, yet each approaches the women in such different ways. I am so grateful to have met them. They have changed the way I view teamwork.

Like many organizations trying to better the world, Street Safe New Mexico is a volunteer based organization. If you or someone you know is interesting in volunteering or donating to help, email streetsafenm@gmail.com or call (505) 280-0085. There are plenty jobs available for volunteers from online research to street outreach.

They are currently working toward making their dream of opening a Women's Center a reality. While they have secured a location they are working hard to repair the facility. If handy work is your forte, put your skills to work and contact them! 

Know someone else who is making a difference? Big or small, nominate them!

July: Checkpoint!

I started this blog as a challenge to myself to look for the good. I've reached the halfway point and thought it would be a good time for some reflection.

This project has been great thus far. It's allowed me to connect with people in deeper and more meaningful ways than I have before. I have noticed though, there are some trends in the type of "good" I keep finding. I began to ask myself, is this something all "good" has in common, or, am I limited in the scope of "good" I see and recognize?

Curious to find the answer I decided to do a small bit of research. We're all different people with varying outlooks and perceptions, why should our sense of "good" be any different? So I asked.

What do you see when you look for the good? What does "good" look like?

While I did anticipate getting slightly different answers, I didn't anticipate how touching people's responses would be and how moved I would be by the views they shared.

For some, finding the good is already a way of life. It's something they carry with them every day.

"I think of every day frustrations, like spilling coffee, or being late because there was traffic. If you look a situations such as those, you can remember that you were able to afford to buy that coffee, and that you are able to afford the car get you are stuck in traffic in. Good is positivity, blessings, and the aspects of life that make you smile, give you butterflies and that you strive for."

Others see it as something fairly clear to define:

"I'm looking for 3 main things.1.) It has to be completely genuine/real.2.) It has value just by itself and not simply as a means to an end.3.) It has to elicit a positive reaction.Good has intrinsic value- Does it make me feel excited, full of energy, thankful, joyful or even hopeful?"

I was touched by those willing to share their concept of good and thankful for the opportunity to broaden my own scope.

"Good looks like being heroic. It looks like making choices and taking actions that are for the good of many, not just self serving. Good looks like nature and natural forms, but also like ingenuity and the pursuit by mankind for a better world. Good looks like caring for others along with ourselves, working to support others, and working to improve the self you were the day before. Good looks like finding solutions to problems, instead of contributing and perpetuating them. Good looks like lifting others up. Good looks like lifting yourself up, finding strength and comfort in yourself, and still accepting it from others. Good looks like the small lights that can be found everywhere, even in the darkest places. And good looks like being that light, especially when there doesn't seem to be another one around. Good looks like a smile, a friendly face or gesture, a show of good will. Good looks like the holding of hands, like a long tight hug, like a soft kiss on the forehead. Good looks like open hands, open arms, open hearts, and open minds. Good looks like finding and being the beauty in the world and the life you live in."

Good, I think we can agree, is something that we all strive and hope for. It's something that we hope emerges from us when we have nothing else to cling to and nothing else to give.

"Finding the 'good' is seeing the heart of someone and appreciating their soul's capacity to love purely. The good in the world is there because of the people that fill their lives and the lives of others with love. When you put others before yourself and care to make this world a better place than when you left it, you are good. Life is really about seeing the good in others and showing the good in yourself to others. Our time here is so limited and there is so much that can't be defined as 'good'."

Some days it's so easy to see only dark. It's easy to find the problems and the areas we fall short. I vow to continue to look for good, all types of good, so that I can be the best "good" I can be.

Share what "good" looks like to you in the comments and don't forget to nominate someone to share their "good" story!

June: Dads Edition

I was born on Father’s day so the term Daddy’s Girl has always resonated strongly with me. I have been blessed with one of the best dads ever.

This month I wanted to give others the chance to honor the dads in their lives and for fathers to share some of their wisdom with us. To be a father is a very special role, thank you to all those who were willing to open up and share with me.

Mike father of four, 29,27,25 and 22
The best things about being a father are the unsolicited hugs, the pride of your babies becoming good, happy and loving adults. Watching them problem solve and experiencing the results together is pretty special. The worst part is worrying that they are okay and watching them hurt physically and emotionally is difficult when you can’t take the “pain” away.

Marissa: My daddy is a wonderful man but also a pain. He may not be my real father because I am adopted but that doesn't even matter. He also may live hundreds of miles away but always finds a way to still pick on me. I am a total daddy's girl and love him to the moon and back. It is hard being apart from him sometimes but I always know he is there if I ever need something! He is very caring and giving to others. Always willing to help in any way he can. Very loving and does a great job of taking care of our family. He is funny and a pain but in the best sense possible. He makes me laugh and loves me unconditionally. He is one cool dude.

Brittany: My dad has been there to support me growing up and has been a really great example for me on how I should be treated by my partner. He set the bar pretty high for how I expected to be treated in relationships because I saw how he treated my mom with so much patience and respect. But I guess my dad to me is a role model and someone I really look up to because he is so kind and patient.

Scott father of three, 32, 28, 25
The worst part about being a dad is having really sick kids. The best part is seeing your kids succeed beyond your wildest dreams.

Tiffany: My daddy would definitely be my grandpa. Although my actual father wasn't around, my grandpa helped raise me and so I can never say I grew up fatherless.

Annette: My dad is the man in my life I can lean on any time. He taught me how to bake, how to bowl, how to swim, how to golf, how to play soccer, how to go fishing... He taught me promptness and respect for others' time. He went to work early every day and came home to fix dinner for the family. He taught me to dance. He taught me to laugh. He taught me to dream, and never to settle.

Bert father of two 27 and 24
The best part about being a dad is what my daughters have accomplished on their own. The worst part, when they were teenagers, waiting near the phone past 9pm very worried. Nothing happened when they were out but the worry was high level.

Pat: You would think that I would talk about my own dad, when he was sober he was a good dad.....or I could talk about my husband who spent lots of time with our boys, but it’s a toss up between my brother who was our father figure for about 4 years when we had no father. He kept the 5 of us together, he would discipline us, take care of us, feed us, hug us, give us direction. He did all of this when he was only 10 years old. And now once again he kind of has taken that role again when our mom died and once again the 4 of us leaned on him. He has always been one of my heros....always ready to help us, encourage us and if needed he would chew us out. The other dad I admire is my son. In this day and age when men are making babies and walking away, he has gone into debt to pay for lawyers to fight for custody of his little girl. He is fighting for her when no one else is.....and he will continue to do so.

Katey: I am lucky to have been raised by my stepdad since I was 8. He is the guy I can talk sports and beer with and the guy who will and has literally been by my side for every celebration and sticky situation. He's taught me what it means to have someone love you and be there for you no matter what.

I grew up believing my dad could fix anything, including a broken heart. Still, as an adult, that holds true. My dad has dedicated his life to the well-being of our family  which includes my mom and my three siblings. His goal was always to make sure that we had the best lives possible and, as I’m tearing up writing this I can say wholeheartedly that he and my mom did a great job of providing us with a loving and supportive home.

Happy Father’s day to all you dads out there! Enjoy this special day.

May: Moms Edition

In honor of Mother’s Day, this month’s post is dedicated to moms that crush it every single day.

Shout out to all the moms who:

• have lost full nights of sleep
• are unphased by poop, throw up or the dreaded combination of both
• have newborns
• have twins (or other forms of multiples)
• always ask “where are you going? Who’s going to be there? When are you coming back?”
• have teenagers (yikes!)
• had a natural birth
• had a C-section
• have cried in their closets and screamed into their pillows
• climb the stairs to their third floor apartment with a baby, toddler and goodies from a trip to Costco
• read to their kids every day
• make their kids do chores
• have stayed completely still in order to keep their child asleep even though their limbs are numb and their body is cramping
• are able to make their children’s Halloween costumes
• are masters of birthday parties
• always hug their kids goodbye, tell them to be safe and “I love you”
• always let their kids climb in bed with them
• adopt
• ask about dreams every morning
• make character pancakes
• choose to homeschool
• encourage their kids every day
• hug often
• believe in the power of play
• let their kids dress as a princess or a dragon or superhero even when it’s not halloween

I could go on and on because all mothers are superheros. Hands down, 100%. Thank you ALL for everything you do and everything you are.

Have a mom shout out you’d like to add? Comment below!

April: Sara and Nathan

The first double post! I've received nominations for both of these wonderfuls and after you read below I know you’ll see why!

Sara

If you've ever had the pleasure of meeting this powerhouse of a woman you easily know why she’s featured. Sara is one of the truest people I've ever known. She commits to her beliefs 100% and lives them out each and every day. Her integrity is one of the things I admire most about her. Sara works for A Family Place which is an organization dedicated to reducing child abuse by offering parenting classes, therapeutic early childhood classes and professional home visits. A Family Place, like Sara, works to empower and educate parents and families to strengthen and enrich children’s lives.

Nathan

This guy is a needle in a haystack. Those that have met him know he’s something rare. Nathan is one of the most hardworking, honest, humble and patient people around. I mean each of those attributes in the purest sense of the word. He works hard each and every day and comes home and works even harder. He is a stay at home dad and an organic farmer. He is a natural nurturer. Anyone who says men don’t have nurturing instincts is wrong. Nathan pays such considerate attention to new life and it thrives around him.

Together

In addition it raising the best baby in the history of all children, Sara and Nathan are starting their very own CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) Farm! Natural Harvest CSA, part of the Oregon Sustainable Agriculture Land Trust, is coming this summer to Canby, OR. All you Oregonians listen up! Oregon Sustainable Agriculture Land Trust (OSALT) is a non­profit organization dedicated to protecting land for the use of sustainable agriculture.

Organic farming is a lot of hard work, not just a superficial trend. Nathan has double dug all of the planting beds by hand with a shovel instead of tilling in order to minimize the use of fossil fuels and protect the integrity of the soil. It’s important for people to take time to consider how chemicals have impacted the world and its inhabitants. “We think it’s important to dedicate ourselves to a less toxic life for our family and our community,” says Sara.

Finally having their own space (20 acres of farm land and a 30ft yurt!) is a dream come true which will allow them to connect with the earth and farm wholesome, pure food, untouched by chemicals. Biodiversity, and access to local organic food is a need that needs to be filled and Sara and Nathan hope to do just that.  Check out http://naturalharvestcsa.com/ to sign up and/or stay informed!